Stage blacks, loss, and comfort

A few Sunday nights ago, something happened in my personal life that really threw me for a loop. I suffered a loss, in a way. There was not a death or a divorce or anything that typically comes to mind at the mention of a loss... but I had to give up something very dear to me, and it tore out a piece of my heart. That is all I can really say about it publicly. The situation has mostly ameliorated itself since then, but at the time, it felt like something I would never be able to get over.

So began a hellish tech week at work for a show that opened on the following Thursday. I had already known that the week was going to be awful due to the projected 15-hour workdays and only 4.5-5 hours sleep per night, which is typical for tech weeks in my line of work. You just suck it up and push through it. I had to dress for comfort, I needed to wear something I wouldn't have to think about much, and I wanted to never look in the mirror and feel frumpy or wish that I had worn something that makes me feel more confident. And, since I train my student wardrobe crew during tech week, I usually wear an all-black or mostly-black ensemble on the first or more dress rehearsal day(s) in order to be a good example to them of how I expect them to wear stage blacks for every dress rehearsal and performance.

Partway through Monday, I decided I should go with all-black ensembles for the entire week, embracing the ephemeral grief and making a wardrobe theme week of it, thereby making the best of the crummy situation by using it as Circle of Clothes fodder. There is something about mourning garb that I find comforting, so it helped ease my troubled state of mind. When anyone at work made an observation about my nearly colorless wardrobe that week, I simply chalked it up to dressing for dress rehearsals. Also, I feel really confident in black.

I did allow myself to bring in some accent colors, but only if they could be easily removed in order for the ensemble to be all-black for backstage purposes.

Monday:Sheesh, could I look any more morose?

Apparently so:I meant to remove those gloves for the photos. Sometimes it's terribly cold in the costume shop, so fingerless gloves are one of the ways I deal with it.

Tuesday:I always feel so pretty in this tunic. The princessy sleeves have a lot to do with it.

Wednesday:Notice how my mood was already starting to improve?
Your mood would be improving too, if you had a little wooden bird perched upon your shoulder!
On Tuesday night, someone dear to me had called me a "strange girl," so the quirky details of Wednesday's ensemble felt very appropriate.

Thursday:I'm imagining myself a 1940s starlet, bravely wearing pants and in need of a cigarette holder despite the fact that I don't smoke... but I think I just come off looking pissed again.

There, that's better:
I wrote earlier than I allowed myself to add accent colors to my all-black ensembles if the colored items could be removed for backstage purposes, meaning that all the accent colors had been small accessories until this day - but I'm cheating a bit with the buttons on these pants: the dresser aprons my students and I wear when working backstage would cover them completely.

I LOVE these pants. I had grown out of being able to wear them comfortably in recent years, but hung on to them because they're so cool. My recent unexpected weight-loss (explained in the post before this one) and ab-toning has made them fit better than ever. I love that they are nearly too long on me, especially as they appear to be in this no-feet shot; because it is so hard to find pants that fit my J.Lo-booty and my long legs at the same time, having pants that are almost too long feels like a luxury. The length when I'm standing still like this looks a little odd, but when I'm walking or sitting, they're fabulously dramatic.

This was my first time wearing Chinese hair sticks. It's hard to see them in any of these shots, though.I've had them for years, but only pulled them out because I was looking for more black hair accessories. I can't believe I never tried them before, because they're awesome. Hopefully I remember to use them more.

Friday:After the draining week, I enjoyed taking a scheduled furlough day that Friday, running errands and going to appointments. There was no need for me to wear stage blacks, but I continued the theme anyhow. It is fortunate that my snow boots are also black, because I needed them that morning.
I found this necklace at a little open air market in Buenos Aires. I hope I get to go back there some day, especially now that I can call myself an Argentine tango dancer. But the main thing I want to go back there for is to make more unique wardrobe acquisitions!

I could have easily gone another week with all-black ensembles without repeating any items except shoes and maybe my black thermal leggings. So, which did you like best? Or least?